From Sydney to Miami
I am sitting in Sydney, Australia, involved in all the usual business of living, when I hear that Maharaji has just invited everyone to a festival in Miami. I go through all my usual reflex responses: "I'm out of money. It's impractical. It's unrealistic. Maybe he'll come here. I can't possibly get it together." Was this really me, making all these excuses?
I couldn't deny, however, that I had reached a point - a familiar point in my life - where I was feeling that something more had to happen. Like before I first heard about Knowledge.
I began recalling Maharaji earlier this year talk about the need to become clear on what I wanted - that it was really easy in this life to know what I didn't want, but harder to know what I did . Well, what did I want?
Gradually, the question began to make itself felt. Maybe it wasn't a matter of the expense of getting to Miami. Maybe that was secondary. To accept that I wanted to be there with him and to allow myself to acknowledge that -what did it take to know that?
The process took weeks. A quiet, internal debate. A muttered prayer. An internal discussion of sorts with myself. Finally, I decided to stop concentrating on the "no" (I knew I couldn't force a "yes") and simply tried to get clear on what I really wanted. Maybe then everything else would fall into place.
I was listening again - letting go slowly and starting to unwind, letting go of the imperatives of my life, which were pushing me from one day to the next. The techniques now felt fresh again, not just a daily routine or something imposed on me - because I knew I had to Uncover what was real inside me.
Somehow I got it - I really wanted to be there. Maharaji was having a program, and I was invited. Almost immediately, I was informed by the company I work for that I was being transferred to L.A. Four clays later I was on a plane, with the company paying the way, on my way to live in California. I had two working days and a weekend to move an entire office, sort out my affairs, shed my excess baggage, and start a new life. Two days after that, I was in Miami watching Maharaji trying out the seats in the hall, rehearsing the video and lighting cues, cracking jokes, preparing for the program - obviously delighted to be doing what lie does so well.
People talk about excellence. I have only one example of what they might mean. I can only understand that word when I watch Maharaji in action. Meeting him again in Miami was a new experience, yet one my heart seemed to know so well. The first clay, he made me laugh so much! I felt delighted to be in his presence, somehow cleansed. The laughter was like tears washing my heart.
I really hope that as he shows me the next step, when he gently calls to me again, that I'm not so long-winded in my response.
Now, a few days later, in the thick of my frenetic job. I pause awhile and sniff the wind. I go to local programs and get the chance to savor what he has given me again. I practice the techniques and re-discover the freedom of the space within, and somehow, even in the thick of it, nothing touches me. And I trust that, should I start to lose consciousness again. Should that smoky, amnesiac pall re-capture my brain for the nth time, I might hear his call….