And everybody has to understand -- initiators, or premies, or people who are working in the office, or this or that -- everybody has to understand what the focus really is. And the thing is, okay, you can have a very conceptual talk about what the focus really should be. You can have a big discussion about it. And you can even go into satsang, service and meditation. But above and beyond all those things, you have to understand that Guru Maharaj Ji is really the focus. Because without Guru Maharaj Ji, first of all, the satsang doesn't manifest. And the service doesn't manifest. And leave it to meditation, when you can't do satsang and service, then automatically meditation is not going to manifest. It's as simple as that.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Initiator Conference -- Malibu
April 22, 1978

Would you like to become an initiator? You really have to look at it: not your desire, not your will, not that somebody told you to become one. It's just a very flat, very basic question. Are you really at the point of surrender to be able to become an initiator? And that's the question that you can answer.

That's the question posed to everybody who wants to become an initiator. That's really most important; that's the first basic step you have to cross. Otherwise, it will be like a flat escalator; you can climb every step, but nothing will manifest.

Are you ready? Instead of saying that "Do you want to become an initiator?", really the question is, "Do you feel that you can surrender so much? Do you really feel that you want to surrender?" Of course, you can surrender and say, "Surrender," or "Okay, I surrender now." And then say, "Okay, I really can't go wrong, because if I don't want to continue, I'll just pull out of it." It's like that example of a glass: Higher you go, less chance you have of being put together in one piece. And then you get to the point where you shatter if you fall. And then there is just no hope, unless it's remelted, every fragment of glass is remelted, which is almost like another birth. I've seen so many people, they come, they become initiators, they get into their head trips about it, and then they fall. And when they fall, they're consciously devastated. They seem lifeless, because their life they have already given away.

And another thing you have to understand is just that it's not a matter of your options. You can't say that "Okay, I can surrender now, and I'll take it back tomorrow." Because this is not a society you are surrendering to; this is not a contract that you are signing. This is really from your heart, of your true heart, to the true person. It's not like just some Joe Blow that you do this to, you know: "Okay, I'll say I will come, and then if I can't, I will just tell him so." IT'S REALLY SERIOUS.

So I guess that's the first decision you really have to make, find out within yourself, if you are ready to surrender. Because really becoming an initiator, the process of really becoming an initiator, is really beautiful. And yet, you go through so much in such a short while that if you really don't have that determination, that strength behind you, you will shatter.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Meeting with Initiator Candidates
Rome -- November 22, 1977

What do you have to ask yourself? What do you have to answer yourself? That what Guru Maharaj Ji will be giving us is an incredible amount of Grace, is an incredible amount of energy, it's an incredible amount of -- thing, that he'll be giving us for us to be able to go and do this work, do his work. "Now am I in fact capable of withstanding such an amount of Grace, such an amount of energy, or not?" And then, if you break that down further, it goes, "Well, is mind into me too much?"

It's like if you're wearing metal right on your wrist, and somebody comes and touches you with an electric wire or a heat or something, wherever that metal goes, wherever that metal touches your body, it's going to electrocute you. And that's where the intensity is going to be. But if your whole body, for instance, is completely covered -- it's like when somebody touches those two on your hand, there's going to be little fry marks there. But if it's all over your body, then

it's not the matter of feeling the sensation in one place, you'll be feeling it all over! And then at that point it might be dangerous for you; you might actually get killed! You might get electrocuted right here and everywhere. And this is what you have to understand: "Am I to the point where this metal, this mind, that conducts this electricity, this craziness, am I free of that, or is it in fact all over me? So when this energy actually comes (not the electricity -- the Grace actually comes), there will be such an opposition happening, there will be such an incredible amount of throw, there'll be such an incredible amount of fight happening between mind and that Grace, that not only my little finger will get hurt, but my whole body will almost explode?"

And that has even happened to a lot of people. It's just like when that Grace came through, they weren't prepared for it. When that energy came through, they weren't prepared for it. When actually everything started to happen, they weren't prepared for it. And it was just that simple, that they were so dipped in mind, that it wasn't just one place, it wasn't just one thing -- it's just -- they completely got shattered.

So first of all we have to look at that aspect, too, in our lives. "Well, are we really ready to do this service?" And it's not almost like going into an argument with yourself, but asking yourself a very plain and a frank question: "Well, okay, am I trying hard enough?" Then you ask yourself, "Well, am I at least trying hard enough to in fact get rid of this metal, to get rid of this mind, get rid of this conductor, or not?" And then you personally should know, well, are you or are you not? And that in fact are you at the position that if you did try that, you could get rid of it?

Guru Maharaj Ji
Meeting with Initiator Candidates
Malibu -- July 14, 1977

… if you are sitting in a Knowledge session and your mind kicks in, that's a havoc. That's kind of -- that's very dangerous. Because you know what you might be doing? You might be taking your mind, amplifying it about 300,000 times, and giving it to this poor guy who is just completely like dedicated to Guru Maharaj Ji, and who just wants to receive that most incredible gift of his life. Ready to receive the most incredible Grace. Ready to receive the most incredible -- I mean, ready to fulfill the purpose of his life. And you might blow it.

You might get straightened out the next day. Your mind -- Mister Mind can just, you know, take a vacation for one day. But never for that guy. Once he is confused, he is confused.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Meeting with Initiator Candidates
Malibu -- February 3, 1978

It's like the difference between a seagull and a pigeon. A seagull can get wet or a duck can get wet, or a pelican can get wet, completely submerge into water, and yet they have this oil on them which will prevent the water from getting on them, and they can just fly away. And it doesn't really make a difference to them. But then there are those other birds. And they submerge, and they will get wet. And they get wet, and they can't fly anymore.

And that is that effort, so that when we go out as initiators, when we are out there, that we have that oil all the time on us, so that we don't get wet. Because if we get wet, then forget it.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Meeting with Initiator Candidates
Malibu -- February 4, 1978

Look at it that you have already dedicated your lives to a certain purpose. And you might be completely ruining that purpose by just doing whatever you want to do, and not staying in that complete focus of Guru Maharaj Ji, not staying in that complete agya of Guru Maharaj Ji, not staying in that complete satsang, service and meditation, not being with Guru Maharaj Ji. And this is just where it boils down to -- it's just like the commitment has to he straight and clear in every one of you -- every one of you. And then you have to say, "Okay. This is what Guru Maharaj Ji has asked me. This, Guru Maharaj Ji has told me to do. And this is what I'm going to do."

Guru Maharaj Ji
Initiator Conference -- Malibu
April 22, 1978

And it's not only that I say now, but every Perfect Master that has come has said, "Have faith in me." Just surrender. I mean, it's like using different terminologies or anything; it basically boils down to one thing: Have faith. Let that Grace carry you across. Let that Grace make it happen.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Meeting with Initiator Candidates
Malibu -- February 3, 1978

Because it doesn't matter if you think thoughts are bothering you; or you think you would like to know the definition of determination; or if you would like to know the definition of service, and how that's applicable in a person's life; if you would like to know about meditation, you know. Anything -- you take it and it's just one thing. It just comes down to one basic, basic thing, under the board. And that is that that Grace has to come through us, to let us become, to be at a point where that Grace can actually use us, so that we can channel ourselves through that Grace, and to be where we want to be. And not even "want to be." It's not like that: To be or not to be. But it's like, where we should be. And where that Grace will carry us.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Meeting with Initiator Candidates
Malibu -- February 3, 1978

But the thing is that the service of initiator is demanded on the highest standard of Knowledge realization, so the person is not confused. Because if you are confused, then it's better to walk away from it all. Because I'll tell you one thing from my practical experience. Every person that I have seen who was a full initiator, and then got confused, just got completely disastrous. From that point on, they were just leading a disastrous life. Because mind then begins to actually manifest.

It's like, you have such a big battle. And before the battle maybe you had so much; maybe you had so much Knowledge experience, and whatever -- maybe you could just contend with that. But when you go to fight the mind and end up inside of you. No morale, no consciousness left within inside of you to proceed in the path, where Knowledge possibly could take shape. It's just left like mind multiplied by mind, bracket, multiplied by mind, times infinite. Just total mind. And the person is like a puppet, and then it just becomes really hard.

A simple example of this is that the higher you are, the harder you fall. If you are just a little glass and you fall from a short distance, what is done? Maybe you can pick it back up and put some glue on it and put it together. But the higher you go, the worse it's going to be. And that means, when you shatter, it's going to be impossible to put you back together.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Meeting with Initiator Candidates
Malibu -- January 10, 1977

Initiators are like a very sensitive thing. They are at the safest spot and they are at the most unsafest spot. They make one mistake, and boom, out they go. So it's a very tricky situation. And we want to make sure that an initiator stays there, because that's the most important thing.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Initiator Conference -- Denver
July 12, 1975

There is this tape recorder. And in this tape recorder, in all the functions that it has, it has one function, one thing which is a head. And that head is an initiator. And the function of the head is that what comes in through the microphone directly goes onto the tape. And on the end of the microphone is Guru Maharaj Ji. And so what Guru Maharaj Ji is saying; you take it. And the tape is the public, people, the premies, the people who want Knowledge, who are blank in their lives, or what they have on them in their lives is truly meaningless. And by becoming a part of that whole schematic, then when Guru Maharaj Ji speaks, the purpose goes in -- goes through the whole procedure, but it comes out into the head and goes into the tape.

But if simultaneously when Guru Maharaj Ji was speaking, you had your stereo turned on, which was also putting out mixed sound going to really go? This mixed sound is going to go onto the tape. And therefore, not having the clarity that -- the thing that Guru Maharaj Ji is trying to put out; it's going to be mixed with something else. And therefore it defeats the purpose of the microphone; it defeats the purpose of the tape recorder. And when that happens, you just take the whole thing and throw it out the window.

Now it's the same way. An initiator has to cut out all his connections, because he is dedicating his life. And in every sense of the word dedicating his life, not just imaginatorily.

… You have to be completely on your own. No more inputs. No more feed coming into you from anywhere else except from Guru Maharaj Ji. So therefore when you actually project the picture on the tape, when you actually put the impulse on the tape, it's as clear as it can possibly be.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Meeting with Initiator Candidates
Malibu -- January 17, 1978

This is a service that takes a lot of dedication; it takes a lot of concentration and it takes a lot of effort. And it's like you see these guys smiling all the time: yeah, these guys are groovy guys. They get a little of this and that, all the benefits come down, and everybody respecting them, and "Mahatma Ji" wherever they go. They have a lot of direct communication with Guru Maharaj Ji and everything. But maybe someone should look to find out how much it takes to keep them together. Look how much craziness they have to face up to -- talking to aspirants, talking to pure mind, facing pure mind, facing pure mind every day and being able to discriminate every possible time, right? It takes a lot. It's not a joke.

The initiator has to be as strong as, stronger than the Rock of Gibraltar. The Rock of Gibraltar is nothing, compared to how strong the initiator has to be. So people who have concepts about having part-time initiators, whatever you've got concepts about, you might as well dump them, because that's not the way it goes.

That's the way it is. It's a very, very, very difficult service. I've discouraged more people than I've encouraged, because it's a very difficult service to do. But if you can manage, if you can pull all your horses together and come through with the whole thing, it's a very beautiful service to do, it's very enjoyable. It's just like -- well, what can be more beautiful than to maybe every day bring a person to Knowledge, reveal the Knowledge to one person? That one life that you have helped save makes it all worthwhile, makes it all very beautiful.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Frankfurt Conference
November 28, 1976

I'd like to make it clear to you -- everybody just can't become an initiator. Why not? One of the reasons why everybody just cannot become an initiator is that they don't understand what is involved in being an initiator. The theory is a lot different than what is practical. We can sit down and we can try to explain to somebody, "Well, it's this way and this way," and it usually comes out really negative. "Okay, well you have to face mind every twenty-four hours," something like that, and "Everybody's just going to dump on you," and so on and so forth. "And you have to be really strong. Otherwise this is going to happen, that's going to happen to you." It comes out negative, you know.

But when you go out and when you really start to give Knowledge, you really start to talk to people -- you start talking to old premies who are sort of hanging in there, new people who are aspirants -- a lot happens. There's a lot of bliss involved. There's a lot of beauty involved. But also at the same time, there's a need for extensive consistency on your part, as an initiator. Because you just cannot go into one place all blissed out and give these aspirants Knowledge, and then go to this other place and then you are down, just like really beaten up, and give these other people Knowledge. There's a vast difference between that, just in the way you come off, in the way you explain.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Portland Conference
January 31, 1977

The day that I see that the initiator is not performing what I have said, then I will tell him not to be an initiator anymore. And there is a difference between surrendering your life to Guru Maharaj Ji and just being where the ultimate goal is of a human being, and getting the door shut on you -- the most ultimate door -- because of your stupid mistake, because of the stupid mind.

I mean, Guru Maharaj Ji's door is always open to everybody. And just as the saying goes, "The whole world can say no, the whole world can close their doors, but so far, Guru Maharaj Ji, you don't, then the whole world is still open. But when the whole world says yes, and you have your door closed, then it's not worth it." I mean, of course, there's always that saying that Guru Maharaj Ji is the infinite ocean of mercy, and this and that. Mercy only comes to those who deserve mercy. And who don't, then it doesn't come to them.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Initiator Conference -- Malibu
April 23, 1978

Service for an initiator is the experience that they get when they give Knowledge. Why? Because Guru Maharaj Ji has given them a specific agya. Guru Maharaj Ji has given them a specific Grace. Without Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace, it's very simple to give Knowledge; it's very simple to do this or do that. But there is going to be no fruit of that action. That Knowledge that you are going to give to somebody is going to be more confusing to that being than it is going to help him even one single cent's worth. Because without Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace, it doesn't work. I'm telling you, it doesn't work. Because it is not supposed to work, and it just doesn't work.

And that is why Guru Maharaj Ji has specifically vested his agya in those people who he sees necessary. And those people he sees necessary -- believe me, it's not like a little case where you say, "Okay, okay, Arthur, come on up here. Look, kid, I've known you for a little while, now you're an initiator, now get out there and go give satsang and give Knowledge." No, there is a lot of difference. I mean, these initiators; this is not an easy service to do, believe me. I think they will agree with that too. Because, they have to really, really surrender. If one moment of their life they are not surrendered, they'll bounce like a bad check. Really, they have to be constantly, constantly surrendered to Guru Maharaj Ji. Otherwise that Grace, otherwise that link, is not there.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Hans Jayanti -- Rome
November 12, 1977

The point is that an initiator has to be full-time; either he is or he's not. And the reason why I think there should be a full-time initiator is because it takes a lot to hold your horses. But the fact is, it is not just going out and giving techniques; it's holding your whole life together, twenty-four hours a day, so that when that moment of morning or evening or afternoon arises when you have to impart Knowledge, you're in synch. Because it's like, giving Knowledge is a very simply-seen service. But it's not; it's very sophisticated. It's a very integrated service where a lot of sacrifice has to be there.

You know, a person has to be totally a part of Guru Maharaj Ji's world. You have to start looking at it in terms of two worlds. There are two worlds; there's this world and then there is Guru Maharaj Ji's world, which is exclusive. It's a world where there is not much materialism happening, or none whatsoever; it's just a lot of Knowledge; it's just a lot of love. And a lot of premies are in that world; they're not out there, they're in there in this Guru Maharaj Ji's world. But an initiator has to be pretty much in the core of it. He just can't be anywhere in the whole atmosphere of the other world. He has to be right in the center, dead center, and he has to be really, really clear.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Frankfurt Conference
November 29, 1976

I guess to anybody it would seem impossible. "How can that be possible? You let go and everything works! And you try; nothing works!" And yet, that's the way it is. Because there is an identity. An identity is a lock. Identity puts you yourself locked, packed, sealed in a package. And therefore, you can't move.

It's like, have you ever gotten inside of a car and tried to push it? There's a really funny experience, because you can push as hard as you want and you won't go anywhere. And your energy -- the same amount of energy you would put probably pushing the car, that would actually make the car roll -- is completely useless. You know what I mean? energy to the wrong thing. But when you come out and you push it, you can push the car.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Meeting with Initiator Candidates
Malibu -- February 3, 1978

For even a moment we can sometimes see that how beautiful it is to get out of concepts, and then we just snap right back in there. And that's what we have to get out of. And really spread the Word, spread the Knowledge revealed by Guru Maharaj Ji. And ourselves, we have to, of course, understand what that Knowledge really is, what that Word really is. Because if we can't really understand that ourselves, how can we tell that to other people? And yet, the easiest way to do that is to surrender, to let Guru Maharaj Ji come through and explain the Knowledge. Because no human being has the capacity to explain it, really. And when we let Guru Maharaj Ji come through, and put our own effort into it, then it manifests for that person in a very beautiful way. And that's what truly has to happen.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Meeting with Initiator Candidates
Rome -- November 22, 1977

… that's what our mind keeps telling us: ''Bid it goodbye, kid,'' you know. You just can't hack this one. This is just too much for you.- Or rather, "Oh man, I'd just rather be just a simple, old premie. 1 will just do my satsang, service and meditation in my own compound, period. Service -- this initiator service is too much." But you have to keep on hanging there; that's your effort.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Meeting with Initiator Candidates
Malibu -- February 4, 1978

And there is a specific role of an initiator. And really, in one way you can say, "Well, of course, he travels, he gives Knowledge to people, he gives Knowledge reviews, and he gives satsang." But that's action. The role of an initiator, specifically, really is to surrender, to be a channel of Guru Maharaj Ji. That's the role. Otherwise, travelling and giving satsang and all this -- other people can do. I mean, there are so many other premier that give very beautiful satsang. So it's not a matter of giving satsang. And then its not a matter of travelling, because there are so many people travelling in this world all the time. But part of that surrendered thing, of that surrendered being, to Guru Maharaj Ji.

Guru Maharaj
Meeting with Initiator Candidates Rome
-- November 22, 1977

Initiator is a special service. It is a service like any other, but you have to understand it is a special service, because when you look at it, it is a little different. As an initiator, you are totally surrendering yourself in a way where you're used like a tool, period. It isn't like a computerized automatic screwdriver, which maybe other services are. You wash a car, or you take care of something for Guru Maharaj Ji, you get up and you do this and that. But in Knowledge, and giving Knowledge to people, and being an initiator, it's just like direct connection. It's just like direct tool to Guru Maharaj Ji, and there is where it's special. That is what makes it so high. That is what makes the danger of you falling very hard, and shattering very hard, and becoming totally -- just to a point where you cannot be put back together. So you really have to come from the experience of Knowledge and grow the right way. And that's what every initiator has to do, really has to surrender to Guru Maharaj Ji, to let the Grace flow through him, and to let him do that, to do that service.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Meeting with Initiator Candidates
Malibu -- January 10, 1977

You really cannot surrender to Knowledge. Knowledge is within inside of you and therefore … It'll affect you if you just start to surrender to Knowledge; it'll affect you in many different ways, whereas maybe that day your experience isn't what it's supposed to be. And for a lot of people, for two, three years, four years, five years, they've been doing meditation, and their Knowledge experience isn't exact, isn't correct.

But you directly need to really surrender to Guru Maharaj Ji, because that is a practical essence where you can physically, spiritually, consciously surrender to. And by surrendering that -- you have made that assurance happen, and then you can proceed in Knowledge.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Meeting with Initiator Candidates
Malibu -- January 10, 1977

One aspect of the service of initiator is that you have to be personally, as a premie, as a human being, very, very clear on what is happening. Because, you see, in one way it's almost like a huge tube. That's what initiator is, a huge tube that carries that meaning from Guru Maharaj Ji, that message from Guru Maharaj Ji, to other people unedited, uninterpreted, un -- nothing happens to it; just the way it is. It's almost as if I was to be standing on one side of the hose and speaking; it comes out as clear, as clean as possible. And that is one way to look at an initiator. But that aspect of that initiator can never be fulfilled if he is not clear in his own self, if he has got his own doubts, his own confusions.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Meeting with Initiator Candidates
Malibu -- July 14, 1977

There is a saying of one saint: You can go with the water, and give water to every leaf of the plant and not give any to the root, and that plant will eventually decay. But if you give water to the root, it is not necessary … I know people just in the residence always have this sprayer, going around and spraying all the plants. But if you were not to do that, as in their natural environment, and just give them water in their roots, they have an automatic mechanism where they can then draw the water supply to their leaves. That's where -- you have to hit the root.

And that root is that everybody, regardless of what their service is, what they do -- if it's Mr. President, or Mr. Janitor, or Mr. Anybody -- they're all premies. When they lose that perspective of they're premies, then they can't do what they're doing, because they're not premies. If they are not premies, how can they do service?

Guru Maharaj Ji
Meeting with the Initiators
London -- March 2, 1978

… you're entering a very dangerous tunnel. The thing is, for ease, and for convenience, everything in this tunnel is electronic. And everything isn't like a big switch, everything is touch-tone: You touch it and it'll activate. And you can hit the wrong switch at any point in your life. And that's why you have to walk straight, talk straight, and really be in tune with Knowledge.

Guru Maharaj Ji
Meeting with Initiator Candidates
Malibu -- January 10, 1977