No. 36, February 1977
From Maharaj Ji with love
Julie Collet speaking at 63 William Street, Sydney, on 22 January 1977, two days after her return from America.
I'm beginning to feel like it's home sweet home sitting on this satsang chair. The satsang tonight has really given me a beautiful experience just in itself. It's incredible when you can feel sincerity come through, when you can feel an appreciation of what Maharaj Ji's given us come through, and when you can really feel a love for Maharaj Ji come through. All those things for me make it so easy to be really deep inside, really experiencing what it is that Guru Maharaj Ji's given me. And Guru Maharaj Ji has given me so much: he's not only shown me how to meditate so that that gap can actually be filled, but he's given me a whole understanding of what life's all about, and a focus and a purpose. And even more than that he's given me himself. To be able to experience a relationship with Guru Maharaj Ji for me is the highest thing that we can experience in our lives. Because we know that we can all experience so much in our relationships with each other, but to be able to experience a relationship with someone who's doing just so much for everybody, with someone who's actually completed the journey inside, and is just there all the time, with someone who is completely a servant …
Sometimes, especially a while back - when we were trying so hard to relate to what Guru Maharaj Ji was doing, and to relate Guru Maharaj Ji to the world - we tried to relate it in a way that people could understand. And I feel that what we did was that we expressed it in a very ordinary, mundane sort of way so that people could, without reacting, begin to take a step towards understanding what Guru Maharaj Ji's doing. But then to me it was a bit funny because after that we shut our doors, and then we kept on doing it: we kept on talking about meditation, we kept on talking about Guru Maharaj Ji as a humanitarian leader or something. And in a sense - and this was one of the things that Maharaj Ji was saying at Frankfurt - we lost the magic of the whole experience, we lost the magic of Guru Maharaj Ji. And at Frankfurt Maharaj Ji said "It's time now for that magic to come back," and from that time for me the magic has been coming back really strongly, in a way that is very solid and very real. And I know that premies everywhere are beginning to open up to what it is that Guru Maharaj Ji has actually given us, and open up to what Guru Maharaj Ji is, and who Guru Maharaj Ji is. It's something that we can't force in our lives but it's something that we can grow in.
We do take so much for granted, someone was saying that, and I know for me I take for granted the whole understanding of life that Guru Maharaj Ji's giving us. One time when we were there with Guru Maharaj Ji at Malibu he just said to us, "Look, what you guys need to understand is what life is all about." And he gave the most incredible satsang to us about how it's said so often that man is the crown of creation, and he said, "Now just look at that. In some ways - and in the way I'll explain - it's true, but in other ways where is man in comparison with the rest of creation?" And he named all these different animals, like a tiger is stronger than a human being, a dolphin has got greater sensitivity, a bat can hear more and he went on and on reeling off the ways in which other creatures are superior to us human beings. He painted such a puny picture of mankind that I thought "Oh my god, who are we, miserable wretches?" And then he went on to explain what the whole purpose of us being human beings is.
So often we fill our lives with a purpose that can be fulfilled in other creatures And it really takes Guru Maharaj Ji - because he's fully developed, he's completely realised what his life is all about - it takes someone who knows the potential of life to be able to explain and to be able to take other people there. And Guru Maharaj Ji has, and Guru Maharaj Ji's doing it, and he's doing it in such a really delicate, and really fine, and perfect way. I just couldn't doubt that when I had that opportunity to be around him, because he was taking me as an individual. It was happening for me in a really real way. He was deepening my whole understanding of what my life was all about. And when I was understanding what my life was all about it was so much easier for me to set about realising it, to set about actually becoming my potential instead of just thinking about it, or instead of forgetting and looking somewhere else.
The highest thing that we can do is to realise just what it is that makes us tick, to realise what it is that gives us life, to realise that beauty and to realise that perfection. That's the thing that Guru Maharaj Ji's taking us into. It's like he's completing us as human beings. We've developed so far, physically we've developed and in all our other faculties - emotionally or whatever - we've developed and it's an incredible thing. We can watch a flower unfold and we can be completely blown out by the incredibility of life and just how amazing a flower can be, but when you see human life unfolding, growing up and becoming, that's really overwhelming. That's why we love children. And what Maharaj Ji is doing is that he's just completing the cycle, he's just taking us the farthest step in our unfoldment. We've developed physically, we've developed in all these other ways, and now Guru Maharaj Ji is showing us how we can develop spiritually, or how we can develop in the realisation of the deepest part of our being. Because wher you think of the mind, it can think and it can understand and it can do so much, but as human beings there's something that's greater than thinking, that's greater than intellectualisation, and that's realising, slowly becoming that consciousness.
The Golden Age
We don't have to learn to walk any more, we don't have to learn to talk what we have to learn to do is to give satsang, is to do service and is to meditate and is to have love for Guru Maharaj Ji. That's what Guru Maharaj Ji's giving us to do to complete our growth. And for me it is becoming exciting, it is becoming beautiful, and it is feeling very natural and very right to be keeping on growing through these ways that Maharaj Ji's giving us. And in the last three or four months I've realised so much about every single aspect of Knowledge. I've realised so much about absolutely everything that Guru Maharaj Ji's given us.
Today we were having satsang about service, just to take one of the things that Guru Maharaj Ji gives us, because this is one of the things that we don't understand. We understand that we have to meditate, we understand that we have to connect, we understand that we have to have a practical experience of this Knowledge inside of ourselves independently of everybody else, we know that. And we've got a pretty good realisation and we feel a need to share that, to experience satsang. But what I see is that sometimes we fall down in our understanding of service for Guru Maharaj Ji.
I know when I was travelling around Australia and had the opportunity of doing lots of Knowledge reviews and of giving lots of satsang, being able every day of my life to directly give my whole self into serving Guru Maharaj Ji, I experienced so much. I can't deny that. I went through a hell of a lot but it was really beautiful.
But then there came a time in my life where I no longer had that direct relevant service for Guru Maharaj Ji, and I can really say that that time in my life was the most - not so much confusing - but it was a time when I wasn't really feeling that I was where I wanted to be. And I've only ever experienced I that twice in my life.
Once was when, a long time ago, I was married and that marriage split up. I was completely cut up and broken, my trust and everything went completely out the window and I was left with no-one to love, no-one to serve and that left me really empty. At the same time I quit my job as a social worker, which was another way that I had had of giving myself. And I can remember at that time I used to talk about myself so much and I remember I used to hate it. I used to apologise to my friends because before that I never used to have to talk about myself, because I was getting so much out of my job, and my marriage, that I was just really, really happy to be where I was. I'd grown and I was where I should be for my particular age in development and I was really there. And then those things were completely taken away from me. And I experience now that that was part and parcel of my growing up some more, moving on. But at first going through that transition was really hair-raising. I didn't know what I could do in life. I had no means of giving myself, and this was something that I always valued. I used to talk about myself and it used to drive me crazy. So I split and went overseas, and finally Carol Ransome sent me this letter telling me to come up to London and hear satsang, and I received Knowledge. And that was so beautiful because just before I received Knowledge I got to a point where I'd just said that's it, I just don't want to know about myself any more; I really want to give myself to whatever it is that's greater, to whatever it is - excuse the expression - that's worthy of me giving my whole self. And the perfect answer, the perfect answer came along just at that point when I really needed it.
And I experienced that the same thing happened to me in Knowledge. For so long I was feeling that I was in the right place, I was where I should be in my own progress in Knowledge. And then all of a sudden it was as if my marriage split up again, I had no-one to serve and I was just losing focus of Maharaj Ji, losing trust in Maharaj Ji, and there I was all over again with no service, and
No. 36, February 1977
knowing that I could give, that I could give my whole life. I went through a whole time when I had no means of actually giving my whole life which means that I was going through confusion. But that's what happened and I don't think there's anybody who's practising Knowledge really sincerely who doesn't, at some time, go through confusion. And just as before that whole time of confusion brought me to a place where I was completely ready to give my life to whatever was greater than me, to whatever was worthy. Exactly the same thing happened all over again. And when I was in Malibu it was just like receiving Knowledge all over again. It was like dedicating my fife all over again. But this time I really had the opportunity, and I felt that I understood so much more than before what it actually means to dedicate my life to Guru Maharaj Ji, to actually give everything that I had.
I know that the way that I can give myself to Guru Maharaj Ji isn't necessarily the way that anybody else here can give themselves to Guru Maharaj Ji. But I really feel that each one of us knows how we can give ourselves to Guru Maharaj Ji, and if we're not then we're not where we should be. Something's out of sync, we'll be going through some sort of confusion or something will be happening because this was just my practical experience. And as a result of that I learnt so much of the value of being able to serve, of really being able, through that service, to give yourself to Guru Maharaj Ji. When Guru Maharaj Ji came around to make us initiators it was just like the equivalent of being reunited. It was like I'd got married to Maharaj Ji when I received Knowledge, I'd lived happily for five years and then there was that separation, just that little bit of confusion came in. It was like I had to look and really see what I wanted to do with my life, and it wasn't until Guru Maharaj Ji renewed my whole understanding of what life is all about that I could really know "Okay, it really is you that I belong to, it really is you that I want to give myself to for the rest of my life." Because that's what I had to do, and that's what I've done, and now I'm just off again.
I really experience that it's beautiful to be accepted back. It's really beautiful to be accepted by someone who completely understands, who really can see everything about you - all your shortcomings, all your limitations - and who can also see your sincerity, and who can also see your love. To be accepted by Guru Maharaj Ji is really beautiful.
One time when we were sitting with Guru Maharaj Ji - I think it might have been one of the times when I asked Guru Maharaj Ji a question - and he was giving me satsang. And when he was giving me satsang it was like "Wow, I really know that this person loves me, he's completely able to accept me for what I am, and he loves me so much that he's happy enought to accept me and to use me." And it was just completely mind blowing, completely, completely mind blowing. But I tell you that without service, without some way individually for all of us to give of ourselves to Guru Maharaj Ji through service, no matter how much meditation we do, no matter how much satsang we give, we'll never get anywhere. It's like we'll be running on the spot. Because I've really seen that if you haven't got that way of serving Guru Maharaj Ji one way or another, somehow you're actually serving yourself. And all that energy that you get in meditation goes into yourself.
You can only really serve Guru Maharaj Ji when you have that love, when you have that gratitude for what he's doing. Not only for yourself, but for everybody. When you can serve Guru Maharaj Ji meditation really fills you up, satsang takes on a whole other meaning. When you're serving Guru Maharaj Ji and you're meditating you can't help but give satsang. You really want to give satsang because it's bursting out of you. And it's not something any more where you've got to say "Okay, I'll go to satsang because Guru Maharaj Ji's telling me to go to satsang." You're realising why Guru Maharaj Ji is telling you to go to satsang, and you're completely in sync with what Guru Maharaj Ji is saying. And that's really beautiful. It's really beautiful to be in sync with what Guru Maharaj Ji's doing, and it's hell to be out of sync.
There's nobody who's strong enough, other than Guru Maharaj Ji, to lift us out of the quicksand. He's got the strength, and he's doing it. Sometimes when you're coming out it feels really strange and you don't know what's going on. But if you let him he can just pull you right out, he can pull you right out of any confusion, and when you're out it's beautiful. It's clear, and it's simple and it's beautiful, and for me it's so right, so really, really right to be realising myself as a human being.
Without Guru Maharaj Ji we could never have started experiencing Knowledge within ourselves. Without Guru Maharaj Ji we couldn't continue to realise Knowledge. Without service we wouldn't get anywhere. Without satsang we wouldn't get anywhere. So it's just really beautiful to know that Maharaj Ji's giving us the complete story, the complete, complete story.
One thing that came to my mind then slipped out when I went off on a tangent, was about Guru Maharaj Ji and service. Guru Maharaj Ji's such a perfect example of someone serving: at Malibu it was really beautiful. As I was saying before, when we're trying to relate to Mr. A and Mr. X on the street, we can say that there's this person called Guru Maharaj Ji who's got this plan to establish peace in this world. And that can sound really flat, and dry; or it can be fantastic, it can sound pretty noble. But it's something else when you actually experience Guru Maharaj Ji dedicating his life to his master, to his Guru Maharaj Ji, to Shri Maharaj Ji, and see that he's doing what he's doing for Shri Maharaj Ji. He kept showing me that all the time up at Malibu. I felt such a oneness there with Guru Maharaj Ji because Guru Maharaj Ji's doing perfectly what he's trying to show us how to do. He's serving Shri Maharaj Ji, and I tell you, there's not one minute of the day, there's not one thing that he does which isn't somehow dedicated and devoted to serving Shri Maharaj Ji. Everything that he's doing. It looks from the outside like Maharaj Ji's got this plan to establish peace, but from the inside it's Maharaj Ji's devotion, it's Maharaj Ji's love, it's Maharaj Ji's oneness with Shri Maharaj Ji - that's the reason anything is happening at all. And it's the only way that it can happen. It's only because Maharaj Ji's completely given himself, completely giving himself, that he can continue to take us where we've got to go. Because he's doing, he's done and he's doing what he's telling us to do. And there's nobody else who's done and who is doing what he's telling us to do - to get out of the mind and into Knowledge.
Maharaj Ji really does love us….