Premie Satsang

A long time ago in India, I was sitting on the floor in a crowd of people like this. And all of a sudden someone pointed toward me and said, "You. You give satsang next." And I almost - I almost died. I thought, "I'm gonna die." I said, "I'm not gonna move. I'm just …"

For two minutes I went through so much. It turned out that somebody came and got the person right next to me.

But this time when I heard it, I knew Guru Maharaj Ji meant me. And I've known it all these last days, that he's after me. And I've been through more sitting on my chair than I've been through in all these years.

And in a way, I feel crushed. In another way I feel just terribly excited. I mean, excited in a different way. I just know that Guru Maharaj Ji means it.

I remember the first time 1 saw Guru Maharaj Ji. He gave satsang. And I just looked at his watch and his suit and his tie. And then he gave a question-and-answer session. And I was still. I just looked. Then somebody was asking him a question. I would never have asked him a question, but I really followed that question. And the question was, "Guru Maharaj Ji, if this is the ultimate thing, then what commitment do I have to make?" I was really eager to hear the answer.

Guru Maharaj Ji seemed to just brush off the question and he said, "Just come and ask." I remember I was disappointed. Because I don't know. I didn't know if there were anything I was looking for, but I wanted to give myself. I just wanted to give myself to something.

And all these years, Maharaj Ji has given me an opportunity to give myself, to give myself in a way I could never give myself to anything else, to be so sincere and so proud in my effort, to be unbending, to show such courage. No other cause could ever have given me such an opportunity. And all the time, he's extended an offer to me - that I can be his friend, that I can be so close to him.

It's such a beautiful offer. It's the most beautiful offer that anybody has ever made to me. But I don't believe it. I just don't believe it. "Oh Guru Maharaj Ji, you're just saying this. It's easy for you to say this. You don't really mean that. You don't mean that I can be your friend. You don't mean that I can just be so close to you."

And it's up to me to come up with the answer. It's up to me to know for sure, to be completely sure that this is all I've ever wanted, that I've reached my destination, that Guru Maharaj Ji has come before me.

Because if it weren't for me, if I didn't "find the marbles," then I wouldn't believe that they were hidden there. I have to find them. I have to have the joy of recognition. And all the time, even if I don't recognize anything, even if I don't trust at all, still there is Guru Maharaj Ji's strength and his patience, by which I can recognize him. Because nobody else - nobody else - would have such patience.

And I've spent a lot of time staring at Guru Maharaj Ji, just looking at him. Just looking at Guru Maharaj Ji. Just listening to what he says. Just watching every movement of his. And I just want to have some recognition.

Guru Maharaj Ji told that story about how Navi went to do pranam to him, and he said, "Okay, now you've done pranam. Now what about a little dedication?"

"What about a little dedication?" Would I just want the most incredible thing without having to do anything for it? Or would I just give everything I have? Would I do that?

In my dreams I would. In my dreams I've done incredible things. In my dreams I've always been a hero - outnumbered and outgunned. With inferior forces. But just through my enthusiasm and through my wits and through my courage and through my hidden strength, I've outwitted them all.

And in my days, I'm disguised. I walk around and nobody can recognize me. I shuffle around in my squeaky shoes. But you give me a few minutes alone with myself and there's steel in my eyes.

Guru Maharaj Ji's the only one whom I've never been able to fool. Because I'm completely surrendered to the fact that I'm fooling myself, that this is something I've accepted. But Guru Maharaj Ji has never, he has never once …

If this were the only way I could recognize him, if this were all I ever had - this incredible power that I've come up against. And it doesn't move. He doesn't give an inch. I can't cheat him. I can't impress him.

And the only other person who knows that I can't impress anybody is myself. I know it and Guru Maharaj Ji knows it. And maybe we've stayed away from each other, just watching each other from a great distance. I know ultimately he's the one I'm going to be up against. He's the "black knight," standing at the river crossing. I know that he's the ultimate challenger. He's the only one who ever challenged me on any level whatsoever.

And I will struggle, but I will give in, in the end. I'll put up my best struggle. But will I really? Will I put up such a splendid fight? Will I do that? Will I actually even take the challenge? I know I will and I am shaking in my boots. Because I don't know where it's going to take me and I don't know what the rules of this game are. This is a completely new thing to me. I don't know how to wiggle my way out of this one. I really don't.

And Guru Maharaj Ji, you're so big. And you're so kind. And you're giving us all so much time. And you make it so exciting for us. You make it so real for us.

Guru Maharaj Ji puts a real illusion there and maybe he put a real mind there. He puts a real body there and there's real desires and real obstacles. You know, he could have just set it up like in the sandbox. But he's given us such a beautiful part to play.

And I know the time will come, just as the time has always come, when the whistle blows and everybody stops and the Monopoly game is over. You just realize it wasn't going to last forever. "Boardwalk," or whatever it is, was just yours for a few hours. And only for that time could you squeeze some money out of everybody. Now it's all going back in the box.

And what do you have to show? Did you use that time at all? Did you show your best? Were you a gallant opponent? Did you have some pride and some honor that you surrendered? Or did you just weasel your way around, and didn't ever really even enjoy it?

I know the time will come. Because that time has come in instances where I realize, "God, where have I been? Where have I been? How far have I come away from understanding that there's only one thing that I ever, ever cared for? And that everything else I really never cared for that much, anyway." And I cared for


that one thing ever since I was so small. Have I forgotten? Have I forgotten that that one thing is also the most important thing? That everything else really doesn't matter?

And have I recognized that that one thing is Guru Maharaj Ji? And in those moments l've known, it's good. It's good that I can make effort. It's good that it seems like nobody's even watching me. It seems like it doesn't even matter. It seems like I'm completely on reserve. I'm not even called to play the game. It seems like Maharaj Ji's ignoring me thoroughly. It's good. It's good and it's fair because I have a chance. I have some time to just go deep inside of myself and just to come up with everything it takes to find out that in me there is such a desire for one thing only and that everything else I really don't care about.

It's that never-ending opportunity that's there, moment after moment. And it's so quiet. And I know, even in the end, it's not going to scream and yell at me. It's just going to stand there before me looking at me. You know, "Why didn't you use the time that you had? Was there any reason? Do you have any excuses?" And I know this question will never be asked. It'll be completely obvious. The question will be obvious and the answer will be obvious.

And it's going to be so sad. Like it is every time I have a little recognition. It's just so sad.

Maybe Maharaj Ji's been sitting on a throne speaking in this hall. And I've been sitting there shivering in my boots. But I know if this hall weren't here, if all this wouldn't be here, if it weren't "Guru Puja," it would still be there. Guru Maharaj Ji would still be there. Satsang would still be there. That opportunity would still he there.

Maybe it would have different names. Or maybe I wouldn't be there. But I know it's such an eternal thing that's always before the human consciousness. And it's so strong. It's such a big, big thing. I know when things get really big you can't really measure them very well. If really big things come before you, your eyes get a little out of focus. And then you try to walk away from them, just to measure them up.

But you can also just feel them. You can feel the warmth and the strength and the power that is in them. And that he just wants to take you. Because before real big things, small things just don't … There are all these cartoons, all these small things. They get snuffed. And they are so pleased to get snuffed. Because small things just don't exist on their own. They're always part of something much, much bigger.

Prem Rawat (Maharaji) 1979 We were driving in a car recently when one person who had been unusually quiet since returning from the last festival said. "I'm miserable." We all laughed ( himself, too).

"And why are you so miserable?"

He was unable to respond because of the laughter. Someone noted that this was not a "normal" sympathetic response to someone who professes misery. That sobered us up.

He proceeded to tell us that he has "repeatedly ignored what his heart tells him to do and keeps ending up in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Of course it seemed sad in a way. But I think the reason we were all laughing was that as premies we could clearly see that the solution was right there, that there was absolutely no need to be miserable and that by just recognizing what the problem was, he was already on his way out of it. The problem was on its way out for one reason: We have a Guru Maharaj Ji. And he is the answer and you can't deny that he's there, and if you want his help, it is always there.

It's like that recording when Maharaj Ji was asked, "Guru Maharaj Ji, what do you think is the practical solution?" Maharaj Ji laughed and laughed and finally answered, "Well. I think happiness is the practical solution. If everyone becomes happy … that's it."

Maybe that answer would make you very frustrated if you didn't know how to become happy or if you didn't have someone to make you happy. But Guru Maharaj Ji does bring that happiness. And it's not of the superficial or momentary kind. It is the happiness that you can feel even when you're going through a difficult time, because there is a purpose, there is a reason for it. And you don't even really mind going through anything, because he is bringing you closer to an understanding of what you really want to know. He is connecting you in a deeper way to something that you really love.

I never experience Guru Maharaj Ji's satsang to be heavy because it saves me. It penetrates to my heart and something in there just lights up. He is the only one in this world who is not only speaking of the Truth but is also taking his devotees there, himself. Because of who he is, because of the way he is.

You could write volumes about Guru Maharaj Ji's kindness and compassion. And when he says, "What makes me really happy from my heart is when I see my premies making an effort," you automatically do make that effort. It comes naturally. It comes from love. Because when Guru Maharaj Ji is happy, you are happy.

It runs a full circle. And that's why when a premie says, "I'm miserable," you can laugh. Because all that you need to do is make a little effort and there is never a time that you can't, never a way to stop you from making effort. Who can stop that?

Guru Maharaj Ji said, "When you cry, you cry alone and when you laugh, you laugh alone." Yet when I join myself to him, when I let this small being merge into his greatness, it feels like I do what he does. If he laughs, I laugh. If he dances, I dance.

When I was eight years old I fell into an irrigation ditch and was being pulled down by a suction pump. I was drowning and the only part of me still floating above water when my dad showed up was my hair. He pulled me out of that ditch by my hair. My brothers couldn't forget that sight and teased me for years but I tell you, I didn't feel it. I didn't even know it. All I knew was that I was saved. I could breathe.

And I ask Maharaj Ji, "Take me. Take me there, even if you have to drag me by the hair." And he says, "Make your effort and walk. They're your feet and your steps."

And that's when it's time to stop talking. That's when I feel the pranam in my heart and I just do it, by his Grace.


Prem Rawat (Maharaji) 1979 Guru Puja. The first time I heard those words was in connection with a festival at Montrose, Colorado, in the summer of 1972. I didn't know what "puja" meant in English, but I assumed I would find out by attending the event.

Though I had been revealed Knowledge only a couple of months earlier, I should have known that that kind of "knowledge" was irrelevant. Once I had thought I understood the meaning of the word "guru": Master - one who leads you from darkness to light. And then I met Guru Maharaj Ji face to face, in my first experience of darshan, and I began to know "guru" as an experience, from a new and deep place of understanding: my heart.

We've had so many opportunities since that time to be in the company of Guru Maharaj Ji and over time the format of the festivals has changed and I've gone through countless concepts of "puja" - how to worship Guru Maharaj Ji, how to make that experience real.

It always comes down to the same thing: I can't. All my ideas get in the way, and finally all I can do is give in and let Guru Maharaj Ji take over and give it all to me, over and over again.

At Guru Puja this year, Guru Maharaj Ji was saying that there is no fight between us and mind or between Guru Maharaj Ji and mind. That struggle that we experience happens completely within us, between that part of us which wants to surrender to Guru Maharaj Ji and that solid wall of resistance we've built around it. And if I thought that I had to break through that wall all by myself, by the power of my practice of Knowledge or my faith, I'd just give up.

All I can do is shout, "Help, Guru Maharaj Ji!" And that's such a beautiful, unexpected thing: that there is someone who can help. Movie marquees advertising the movie Superman proclaim, "At last! Someone you can believe in!" And every time I see that, it reminds me of what I have in Guru Maharaj Ji. Because I don't need someone to save me from underworld crooks or unidentified flying objects. I need someone to save me from myself. His only requirement is that I believe in him. And when I am too obtuse even to remem ber to ask for his help, it is he who opens up my heart again with the power of his love.

I am continually amazed at the unwavering magnitude of Guru Maharaj Ji's love. Gazing at him in the darshan line at the last festival I felt almost embarrassed at the sheer abundance of love coming from Guru Maharaj Ji. My own inconstant little emotions I call love and bring to his Feet are nothing beside that. And when I realize that, what can I do but worship?

I don't want to understand it. Not in the way that intellect dissects and analyzes and then pronounces, "Yes, I understand." I want to live in that understanding that happens in my heart when the music is playing and Guru Maharaj Ji begins to dance - inside me and on the stage at the same time - and I feel the walls around my heart dissolve. Then I know what it is to be free, safe and at home in "the beautiful palm of his hand."

There's a song that we sing to Guru Maharaj Ji, and some of the words go, "meditating on your love." And really, for me, this has been the essence of my experience of this Knowledge - the love of Guru Maharaj Ji. Sometimes it seems incomprehensible to people that you can experience love from someone that you don't see (physically) all the time and maybe have never even spoken to.

This love is truly the greatest mystery. Never before has anything been so vast and yet so intimate, so big and forever and yet so here in this very moment. I don't think there's any way I could ever begin to speak about this love in terms that can he easily understood by the mind, because my whole life is dedicated to experiencing this love as deeply and as truly as possible.

Guru Maharaj Ji entices you with a rather small offer of peace and contentment in your life. and what you get, what you discover, is a lot more than you bargained for or ever could have imagined. What happens is that a process begins that seems to be unfolding forever, that just becomes bigger and more real and takes you to a place where you've never been before, takes you on a journey that is more wonderful and magical than you've ever known before.

Sometimes when you fall in love with someone you just cannot imagine that you could feel those feelings, that they could exist inside of you. Yet I remember that experience and it seems that it was just a small part, just a scratch on the surface of what love could really be like. And it's hard to believe that it's all locked up inside of you all the time, lying dormant and just waiting to be awakened.

And then you find Guru Maharaj Ji coming and shaking it up, gently and slowly awakening a feeling in your heart that you knew was always there, that you knew you were meant to have. Somehow all along you could feel it, yet never could anything else quite manage to tap into it, no matter how hard you tried, or in how many different ways and places. I know I never imagined that someone as beautiful and real as Guru Maharaj Ji could exist. Yet something inside was always holding out, hoping that maybe someday …

How can we ever thank our Guru Maharaj Ji for this gift of himself that he has given to us? I don't think there could ever he a way. How could we ever describe or praise the experience of his love that he has opened up within us? I know I could never say a thing that could even come close.

Guru Maharaj Ji said that true love only exists between a Perfect Master and his devotee. I don't know what all those other feelings were, but I know that this is the only thing that's ever come close to what could be called love. And I also know that I haven't even scratched the surface of it yet. I experience one drop and think I've been swimming in the whole ocean. It's no wonder that Guru Maharaj Ji keeps enticing us with his sat- sang, pleading with us to open up more, to let go a little more, to surrender just once. Because only he knows what he has to give us, only he knows what is there for us to experience.


Prem Rawat (Maharaji) 1979 Guru Maharaj Ji is calling. He's always been calling. Calling us home. Offering us the chance we never thought we even needed to have. And all it takes is everything - every breath, every word, every deed - to come only from him. It is our destiny. It cannot be prevented, only delayed. So why not let it happen now?

Divinely drunk, blind to this world, orphaned and alone, we have been created to return to the source. Everything else is false, a cardboard Western town in some grade-B movie lot, an elevator stuck between floors.

Everything in this world except Guru Maharaj Ji's love is imagination -- the good, the bad, and the ugly, our five-year plans, our resolutions, our fears and our prayers. Guru Maharaj Ji has already given us the perfect prayer. The silent prayer. His Holy Name, invisible, immeasurable. The only thing not subject to change without notice. In that prayer there's no one left to solemnly ask forgiveness. No requests for strength or grace or humility are necessary because in Holy Name strength, grace, and humility already exist.

For me, my only fear is that one day I'll look back and see I never really went for it, that I saved myself for some non-existent future when I could have let Maharaj Ji save me with every breath.

Everything is his. And everything can draw us deeper into him who is waiting so patiently for us. If any man were as patient they'd call him a saint. If a saint were as patient they'd call him a god. If God were this patient … well, I guess we already call him Guru Maharaj Ji.

O my Guru Maharaj Ji, it I might beg again - please pull me deeper into the endless ocean that you are. Never let me stand on shore thinking that tomorrow I will dive. Drown me in your love. Drench me, dunk me, and buoy me higher so I might breathe the pure spaciousness of you. Rip the ground beneath my feet so I might come to yours and, home again, serve you as you, for all eternity, have served this restless soul …

Satsang is really something so incredible. For me it's always such an adventure to stand here. Because I really don't have the slightest idea of the words that are going to come out. And yet there's something within inside which I can feel, I can experience. And then I have Guru Maharaj Ji's agya, which gives power for that thing to manifest.

Sometimes I don't like the word "festival," not because of the word in itself, but because by now we know so much about it, like we do about everything else. And I feel that constantly we need to be reminded that this is not an external thing. And satsang is not words, but satsang is an experience that I have to plug myself into. It is a river and every one of us - me standing here, every one of you sitting there - has that opportunity.

By now we know all the words, and mind thinks that we also know what they mean. And yet they don't mean anything. Because when we truly plug ourselves in - when we let satsang come and bathe us - it's always new. It's always fresh. It has nothing to do with what we know.

We need that power of Guru Maharaj Ji to come and awaken us. And there's nothing like, "Oh my God, what's going on?" Well, what's going on is: since that day that I said, "Guru Maharaj Ji, I really want to dedicate myself to you. Please take me from darkness to light. Please take me from hate to love. Please take me from death to immortality, whatever that means," he's been doing it.

But how much am I aware of that? Because I notice that there's some effort I have to put in even to be sitting here. Sometimes I think it's easier to listen to satsang somewhere other than in a festival. I don't know why. But we want to see everybody. We want to see that - "Man, she's still hanging around! Wow, Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace! Oh, she's really changed!" just completely unaware that it's such an obscene thing to do that. Completely obscene, when we are trying to see Guru Maharaj Ji externally like that.

Who is Guru Maharaj Ji? I don't know, but I know he's not one of us. And that's why we can't take him for granted.

That's why we can't even sit in a chair and assume that "God, man, satsang is really heavy! I wish Guru Maharaj Ji could come!" Why are we sitting here? Because Guru Maharaj Ji invites us to be sitting here. And that's the only reason.

I feel that it's time to awaken. It's time to see what we have. It's time to experience. It's time to live. Because we're dead. It doesn't matter if we have Knowledge or not. We're dead any time we are not aware of Guru Maharaj Ji's glory.

We are in checkmate! Haven't we realized that yet? There is no time to "Ring around the Rosie," there is just no time. And that's why I need satsang. I need that power that brings me back to a place where nothing is going on but that experience which nobody in this world can convey in words, not even Guru Maharaj Ji himself.

Sometimes I feel that Guru Maharaj Ji seems desperate: shouting, screaming, doing whatever is necessary - just to get us to stop for a minute and listen. Because "listen" is more than just sitting in a chair chewing gum. But it's when it goes deep in your heart and you say, "Oh boy, yes. Please, please!" That's maybe where satsang, service and meditation fit in.

And I know that as a human being I need Guru Maharaj Ji. Sometimes we don't know. We really don't know. It's not that we do it on purpose. But we do it. And that's why I feel I need Guru Maharaj Ji constantly to even take me beyond my good intentions, beyond my dreams! Beyond anything that looks so big, but is not real.

I feel that sometimes we take Guru Maharaj Ji as - I don't know what. And we take our concepts of love and when Guru Maharaj Ji allows us the opportunity to even come before His Feet, what we put at His Feet is our dirt, is our misery - thinking that we are giving him an incredible thing.

We need to be washed; we need to be cleaned. That's why we need his agya. Because even for me to appreciate Guru Maharaj Ji, I have to be cleaned. These eyes need to be cleaned because they are full of dirt, from top to bottom. And it's only possible by Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace. And that Grace has a


Prem Rawat (Maharaji) With Family 1979


I mean sometimes it's like Guru Maharaj Ji invited us and we have satsang and somebody gives satsang and what do we think? Do we think these people come up here and they are stupid? Maybe they are! As for singing and chanting the same thing all the time - I think that's very stupid. That's very boring.

And sometimes it's like we make a game where we really forget the real thing. And the real thing is that when satsang happens there is an experience. And as Guru Maharaj Ji said, if it could be any other way, he would have told us by now. He would have told us. And that's why I feel that listening to Guru Maharaj Ji saying that we have to do it and sitting in a chair and saying, "Well, I can't do it," is an insult to Guru Maharaj Ji. It's almost slapping him in the face and calling him stupid.

What kind of a game are we playing? Talking about the Creator. What is the Creator? Do we know what we're talking about? Of course not!

Because the door is Guru Maharaj Ji himself. And I need to surrender to Guru Maharaj Ji. To step in and enter that world. His world. I can't sit in a chair and imagine Guru Maharaj Ji's world. Sometimes I do but then he comes and he devastates that. And then I just experience: Guru Maharaj Ji, how could I live without you? Because you are the dispeller of darkness. You are the only being that has the power to change me. And yet I have to consider you. I have to respect you. I have to experience.

It's so easy to dream about Guru Maharaj Ji, so easy to think about Guru Maharaj Ji, so easy to say that we love Guru Maharaj Ji. But it's such a different story when the story gets real and your will gets confronted with Guru Maharaj Ji's will. And I need to go beyond that. Because my will is Guru Maharaj Ji's will. Really that's what it is, and yet only Guru Maharaj Ji has the power to take me to a place where I even know what I want.

I see this when people come to satsang. They don't even know what they want! (I didn't know what I wanted.) Because I don't want this and I don't want that. What I want is something that can't be put into words.

Only Guru Maharaj Ji has the power to show me what I want. He gave me everything when he gave me Knowledge. Everything! Sometimes we really do forget that we came into this world and we're going to leave some day. It's always the future, always the future, that doesn't exist. Sometimes you see Guru Maharaj Ji talking about doomsday and third world war and everything and I can see myself identifying so much with that. And yet, there is a place where it really doesn't even matter if the world is going to end one day or not. Because I'm going to end. There is no life insurance just because I am a premie, just because I am an "initiator." There is no such thing. .Just because maybe, "I am doing the kind of service not everyone else can do so …" I know that that's the way sometimes mine comes and plays with us. No: sometimes. All the time.

And I see - Guru Maharaj Ji, take me. Take me more and more. Make me realize more and more that it doesn't matter what I did in this world. I am the beggar at your Feet.

Sometimes we come to Guru Maharaj Ji and we say that "I have everything and that's why I know that this world has nothing to offer me." And it's not true we have nothing. Maybe the more things we have in world, the more miserable we are. Because we have an illusion that we have something. And that's nothing. Sometimes whatever we think we have in this world is what prevents us even from begging. Because that pride is there. Even as a premie I set such a tendency in me to grab onto something, wanting to have something which I can be proud of.

And I see the only thing I can be proud of is Guru Maharaj Ji himself. And the only way for me to have real pride is when I am a


Prem Rawat (Maharaji) With Family 1979

little bit at least aware that there is nothing in this world but Guru Maharaj Ji. And this is not words. This is not fancy talking. This is not "festival talking." This is what it is.

I feel it's so urgent that I can't even say how urgent it is. I feel it's right now! I feel right now we're having that opportunity to go with Guru Maharaj Ji or to stay in something that is bound to be destroyed.

And aren't we tired of getting into an illusion and getting deluded, and getting into an illusion and getting deluded, and … aren't we tired? Aren't we puking by now? We are. We know we are. We can smell it.

And that's why, for me, Guru Maharaj Ji sitting in that chair is not like the Statue of Liberty or Mohammed Ali, Skylab, going to the moon, sitting with my boyfriend, giving my satsang, doing my meditation, writing my check at the end of the month - "That's it. I'm a premie." A duty? Life is not a duty! Guru Maharaj Ji is not here to bring us homework. Guru Maharaj Ji is here to make us free. Guru Maharaj Ji is here to show us who we really are.

All this world taught us was: Eat it. Doesn't matter if you like it or not, stupid. Just eat it.

And I need satsang constantly. I need Guru Maharaj Ji to constantly come and remind me that the reason behind it is love, is love. That that faith in him has to be implicit.

Because how much more proof do we need? Go ahead and do it! You'll never understand before you do it. Never! First practice, then understanding. Because what Guru Maharaj Ji's coming to give us is a practical experience. It's not like writing a book or imagining fancy stories.

Guru Maharaj Ji is so real. If I dare say that. I don't dare talk about Guru Maharaj Ji. But all I know is that he's pure. He's not from this world and I'm here to acknowledge him. Period. I'm here so that I can know what I am. There is a pure love within inside of me which only belongs to him. It's not a matter of me changing the course. It has its own course, and the course is Guru Maharaj himself.

I have no idea what it is to love Guru Maharaj Ji. There is nothing in this world that I experienced that could give me that experience. Nothing at all. The only thing worthwhile in this world is Guru Maharaj Ji himself. And we have to understand that in order to even start being disciples, being students, wanting to learn - which is not learning the words of satsang, not learning the "whole theory."

Sometimes the meetings we go to from 7:30 to 9:30 get so boring! Because everybody speaks the same way and everybody says exactly the same thing and everybody's stuck in the same place. And then we call it sweet. "Oh, satsang has been sweet lately." And you look around and everybody's asleep -- in that sweet-talking.

So I feel it's a gift if we can take that satsang. Not, "Well, I don't know." "Well, I hope Guru Maharaj Ji comes and frees me." But if we can just accept his gift of satsang, if we just can let him take us …

I know sometimes it's all yawns. But all we can do is sit down and let him take us. Because it can't go on like that anymore. It just can't go on. I feel we are specks of dust. More than that, we're going to "wake up" dead one day and we're going to see that we missed it. (And I don't feel that this is a threat. I feel this is the way it is.)

We have to really awaken. And it's so incredible that we have Guru Maharaj Ji. I feel there's so much to enjoy, so much to learn. Not only here. Always.

Satsang selections include initiator satsang given at Guru Puja '79. If you would like to send a contribution to the Premie Satsang section of Divine Times, please address it to: Divine Times, 31149 Via Colinas, Suite 610, Westlake Village, California 91361.