Feeling Happy

Prem Rawat: Divine Times magazine

An Interview With Molly Groger

Molly Groger was born in Cleveland, Ohio, on May 14, 1927. An only child, she began her career as a dancer in vaudeville at the age of 3 ½. Her family moved to California when she was eleven, where she continued her stage career, working in musicals with stars such as Mickey Rooney and Donald O'Connor.

After attending UCLA, Molly married and had two children. One is, currently an opera singer in San Francisco and the other is a premie. Molly was initiated into Knowledge in July, 1973, in Los Angeles, and is now with Inner Game Resources.

How do you feel about your life with Knowledge?

I think there's every reason to be happy, and I think it's very important to manifest that happiness. I don't see why premies aren't happy, and I feel that the way to help Maharaj Ji in his work is first of all to be happy. I have everything I need, it's working very well.

Do you feel that a lot of premies are unhappy? If so, why do you think they are?

I don't know the reason. I've been noticing a lot in satsang that people are really into their unhappiness. It's not very inspiring to me. I suppose it's the confusion that Maharaj Ji talks about. It took me a while to realize that the pain had stopped. That's why beating your head against the wall feels so good when you stop. It's amazing the amount of pain I had become used to living with before this Knowledge. Now the pain has gone and I'm really appreciating that. I'm so grateful, and what I want to show other people is that this Knowledge does bring

22    Divine Times, December 1976

happiness. All you have to do is let it. Let it happen. It's made me very happy. I don't really know why premies think they're not happy, but to me, if we're going to propagate this Knowledge, why would anyone come if we're unhappy?

About two years ago I was driving Rajeshwar to the airport, and he looked around and said, "0 Lord, what a truly wondrous creation!" I thought at that time, "Isn't it beautiful to feel that so much." I've been noticing myself doing that a lot lately; I look around and say, "This is really beautiful." It's a truly wondrous creation and I'm enjoying it.

How do you try to share that with people?

Words can't do it. It's action. If you're in Truth, if you're feeling happy, people can't help but notice that. They know that there's something going on; that's the thing to share. Words don't mean anything. Happiness comes from one thing, and propagation has to come from one thing, too. There's nothing you can direct externally until you've got it together with yourself.

Some people feel that now they have received Knowledge their life is in service not just to Maharaj Ji but to humanity, and others feel that Knowledge has given them a personal handle on life, and that's about as far as they can take it. Where do you feel you fit in, and where do you feel the general premie community is moving?

I think it goes back and forth. When I first received Knowledge the emphasis was more on spreading Knowledge, and then everyone seemed to go back within themselves. I feel that Maharaj Ji has a mission in this world and I want to help him in whatever way I can. At least if I can't help him, I don't want to make it any harder for him. I don't want to have this Knowledge and have people turn away from it. Therefore, I have to be happy. That's me helping Maharaj Ji as much as I can. Whatever service you have, all that is really nothing unless you're feeling happy.

Maybe you could describe some of your involvement with the Inner Game.

Well, I serve as a secretary, and it's really beautiful. I'm working with Tim Gallwey and Gary Girard. I'm working with premies who really remember where it all comes from. That's very important to me. I feel they're doing a job that's bringing awareness to a lot of people who would not otherwise listen to us about Guru Maharaj Ji. These people are now becoming aware that there is something other than the ego-mind.

Their method of teaching is to make you aware rather than to judge, to know that there is something within that is perfect, that knows how to do whatever it is, something other than the mind. That is a beautiful awakening for a lot of people; people who are not interested in inner awareness, but are interested in improving their backhand.

You have started playing tennis yourself. I believe you began as a guinea pig on a television program. Can you tell us about it?

Oh, it was funny. When I was asked to do this, I had never held a racquet before, and I was very lazy physically. I was ready to call the night before and say, 'Tim, I'm going to blow your whole trip. They're going to take the book off the market if they put me on." When I got out there, it was such a beautiful experience. It was really surrendering to that part of me that knows what it's doing.

I feel that every time I play, I am aware of what I'm doing rather than trying. It's true of meditation, too: the more you try, the harder it is to meditate. But if you just surrender and let it happen, it's easy. That's true of all action. I don't do it all the time but that's the way I like to do whatever I'm doing.

It's really good when premies are able to integrate their inner lives with their outer lives. How do you suggest premies get that working in their everyday actions?

Just be in the moment. That's one of the many things Knowledge has done for me. I was very much into Baba Ram Dass before, and I wanted to "be here now" so badly, I was really trying to be here now. It wasn't working. I understood it and I wanted it, but I didn't know how. With Knowledge you start to realize that it doesn't matter how many breaths you took before this one, or how many are going to come afterwards, it's this one right now that's important. It's the one that's keeping you alive.

It seems there are two phases: one is to be conscious and the other is to be able to almost manipulate the situation so that it becomes a more conscious situation. In other words, Tim could have been an aware tennis player, but he taught the art of tennis and also made it an art of conscious awareness. I think this is a challenge that a lot of us are facing now, because we know we can meditate at our jobs and feel camaraderie with people, but there's that other thing; well, you're still working for the man. How do you change your mundane actions into promoting consciousness?

I still think I'm working for the man. That's what it's all about.

I meant the establishment.

Oh, I thought you meant Maharaj Ji! Before, I didn't know what I was working for, but I knew whatever it was wasn't worth it.

Tim does a Monday night seminar for new people, and one of the doubts many people have is that they're so afraid of withdrawing from the world if they meditate. I have been thrown into the world. I had really withdrawn from it, now I'm into it a lot. Now I know what I'm working for, and that makes it all worthwhile, whatever action I'm doing.

I really get that feeling of being in a movie, and getting involved, and laughing and crying at the funny parts and the sad parts, but knowing you have a home to go to. It makes going to the movies more enjoyable.

You are a little bit older than the average premie, whatever "average" is. How did it affect you coming to Knowledge that there were so many young people, and how does it affect you now?

It hasn't affected me at all, because about ten years ago I resigned from my own generation. I felt that they didn't have anything together at all. How could they possibly be telling anybody else how to do it?

I saw that the kids maybe didn't know what to do, but they saw that there was something to do. In the last ten or twelve years most of the people I've been with have been twenty years younger than me, and I don't understand age to begin with, so it doesn't affect me. The only difference it makes is that I have been through a lot more, and that enables me to be more grateful. I went through a lot of trips in my lifetime, I feel like I've lived four or five lifetimes. But it was the kids who knew there was something, and they had the guts to do something about it. Some of them are still very lost but if that hadn't happened, we probably wouldn't have recognized Maharaj Ji.

- Carole Jones

Divine Times, December 1976    23