Michael Dettmers, Former Personal Assistant to Prem Rawat Internet Revelations
Date: Sun, Mar 14, 2001 at 22:25:08 (EST)
From: Michael Dettmers
Subject: alcohol and m
I have already addressed Maharaji's drinking several times, so I won't repeat myself again. I will, however, repeat what I said last November when I recounted a meeting I had with Maharaji in which I confronted him about his drinking.
At a meeting between the two of us at his apartment in Miami, I told him that his drinking, and the torrent of abuse and negativity it unleashed, led me to believe that he no longer cared about his life or his mission. I told him that he seemed unnaturally angry and dissatisfied, especially since he was offering others the key to peace and happiness, and had everything including countless people ready to respond to his every whim. I mentioned that I was particularly concerned that he always blamed someone for his state of dissatisfaction. I told him that this pattern of behavior put me, and him, in a very dangerous situation. My service to Maharaji required that I exercise good judgment and seek expert advice to fulfill his wishes. To that end, I worked diligently to understand and make his concerns my concerns, and I acted out of those concerns to the best of my ability. I reminded him that I carried a tremendous responsibility to ensure that his affairs were handled properly. The IRS for example, audited him on two more occasions following the 1976 — 1977 audit I referred to in a previous post. Had my team and I not ensured that all of his affairs adhered strictly to the groundrules that were established then, Maharaji could again find himself in difficulty. That never happened on my watch but I was very aware that if anything had gone wrong, I would have been held accountable and I understood and accepted that responsibility. But I became increasingly wary of his tendency to blame others and look for scapegoats upon whom to deflect responsibility and accountability if things didn't go his way. The concept of "mutual" responsibility and accountability totally escaped Maharaji.
Because of his excessive drinking and the recurrent behavior that ensued, I come to the painful realization that he no longer cared about anyone or anything. I told him how utterly paralyzed I became when this realization dawned on me. Because I was no longer able to make his concerns my concerns, the very fabric of what constituted "service" for me and that which motivated me to act had died, and I told him so that day. He listened quietly as I spoke and did not respond when I was finished. He did not appear angry. He simply got up and left the room.