To Dance With Him

Satsang given by Durga Ji at the Guru Puja Festival at Miami Beach, Florida, 30th July, 1977.

I think it would be very nice if everyone could just sit down and just be very quiet and just open ourselves up to that Love that is here that is within us, that is with us every moment. And now it would be nice if everyone could just meditate for a few moments.

I just feel like it's such an incredible thing that's taking place right now. I feel like I want so badly to just be able to in some way express this Love and yet I know that we all do. I feel like it's just only Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace that I'm standing here right now. Because I just feel like, "Thank you, Guru Maharaj Ji, for letting me have this opportunity in my life to just try and share this experience of Know­ledge, this experience of Guru Maharaj Ji that we are all having." It's the most beautiful thing that Guru Maharaj Ji could ever do for me that I could share this satsang with you.

Sometimes I look at Guru Maharaj Ji and I feel like, "Oh, Guru Maharaj Ji, please, please, please" — I just beg in my heart that I can tell you a little bit of what Guru Maharaj Ji is like, to me. And yet I find I cannot even begin to do it because it's like it just seems impossible. Whatever I say, it's just nothing. Yet I feel I just have to really trust in his Grace, completely trust in Guru Maharaj Ji that he will allow me to somehow share in some small way what I feel.

Just as I was walking behind the stage coming up I felt Guru Maharaj Ji guiding my every footstep. As I put one foot down and the other foot down, I realised he's always just doing that. He's always guiding every single footstep. If I can just be in tune with that, if we can just be in tune with every single footstep that Guru Maharaj Ji puts before us — because we sometimes don't. We go out of that step and we feel it. We let mind take us away and we feel it and it doesn't feel very good. Because when we let Guru Maharaj Ji make our every move, when we let Guru Maharaj ii come through us, then we know it. We feel it. And it's beautiful. It's so perfect. It's just complete. And when we don't, we feel the separation.

Guru Maharaj Ji is the most beautiful dancer. He wrote the dance. He wrote the music. He wrote the whole script. He made the dance floor and he's asked each one of us personally, individually, to dance with him. And I see so much within my own self, as well as so many of us, we let Guru Maharaj Ji lead for a while and then we start trying to lead. We start trying to make the moves. And we get really off, and we know it. It's like, "Oh, gee, Maharaj Jj, I wish I would just let you do it." And then before you know it, we're stepping on his toes, or we're tripping or we're falling. And it's not very comfortable at all.

And so we beg Maharaj Ji, "Please, Maharaj Ji, can I just please surrender and let you dance me, let you just waltz me around the dance floor? Because you know every inch of it. You know every movement. You know it perfectly. If I could just follow." And then we just feel like Guru Maharaj Ji lifts us to a place we never even knew existed. We complete­ly merge with Guru Maharaj Ji. And that's the feeling, that's the place where we long for and need to be every moment.

And it's very possible. All we need to do is surrender and let him do it, because he knows how to do it. We already know we don't know how, so why constantly make mistakes? And that's now what we want. We've heard it for a long time, but it seems like it's really becoming a thing in our life now. Just this word surrender. Before it always seemed like I would say, "Oh Guru Maharaj Ji, please let

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Prem Rawat being crowned as Krishna by his wife in Kansas City, January 1978

me surrender. Let me surrender." I don't know. It was different. And now it's just like, "Oh Maharaj Ji, may I please." It's so beautiful. I have no right, we have no right really, to even surrender because it's the most beautiful thing we can do.

Some people look at Guru Maharaj Ji and they say, "I would never bow down to him. I don't care what you people do, but I won't kiss his feet; I won't bow to him." And what we've experienced: "Oh Maharaj Ji, that's all I want to do." Because when we bow to our Lord, when we surrender to our Lord, it's just the most beautiful thing that we could ever do. And this is what this day is all about.

Today, in flesh, in blood, is our Lord. And he's allowing us to come to him, to touch him with our bodies and surrender and bow and to pranam. And to me that's really so much mercy that Guru Maharaj Ji has for us. Because what that can do for us, it's too much.

It's like there's a ring of fire and we're in the fire. Guru Maharaj Ji doesn't come and say, "Bow to me." All he says is surrender. And we have to trust at that point. And when we do, we find that we dive out of the fire and into Guru Maharaj Ji's world, into a world of Love. It's not for Guru Maharaj Ji that we surrender, it's for us.

And it's even Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace that we can surrender. We can't say, "Well, I surrender." Because that's just not possible. I don't know; I can't surrender. Personally, I just can't say, "I'm going to surrender. Now I'm going to surrender, it's just by Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace and Mercy that he lets me experience that. And I could never, never, never thank him for that.

And yet I feel like that's another thing in this life that we have to accept. We have to accept that Love. Because sometimes for me it's like, "Oh Maharaj Ji, it's just too much. Why, it's just too much." You can't even ask. why. Just accept it because he's giving it.. And then we accept what­ever else comes our way, not say,

"Well, I wanted it this way or I wanted it that way. Or it's too bad it couldn't be like this. Or why is this happening?"

If we're trying to open a combination and Guru Maharaj Ji has that connect­ion with us and he says, "Okay, five to the left, 33 to the right, seven to the left." And we go, "Oh no. But I really wanted it to be nine. Oh darn, I was really hoping it was going to be 27." It just doesn't work. We'll never open it that way. We just have to see very clearly that Guru Maharaj Ji is in charge, that Guru Maharaj Ji is completely in charge. And then just flow with it. And it's so beautiful.

It's like Maharaj Ji said last night, in the roller coaster, just get in and don't try to go up and down. We just relax, surrender and let the roller coaster take us up and down. Let Guru Maharaj Ji take us for the ride. Let him be the driver instead of us trying to drive. Because we don't even know where to steer it. We don't know where to go at all. He has that vision. He has that foresight. He has that infinite Grace guiding him because he has completely surrendered to Guru Maharaj Ji. Maharaj Ji has completely let Guru Maharaj Ji, Shri Maharaj Ji, completely guide his every move. He's completely surrendered to that power. And so he makes no mistakes.

We might think Guru Maharaj Ji might make a mistake. Guru Maharaj Ji might be giving satsang and say a word that we think, "Oh, it isn't pronounced like that." But to me that wasn't a mistake, because look what we do. Then our minds jump out and, "Oh, Guru Maharaj Ji made a mistake. So what was the reason for that?" Guru Maharaj Ji is that force, that power, that perfection. And Guru Maharaj Ji is also that power in a form, in person. And I have no idea, I will never, actually I will never be able to see his glory.

Claudia and I were just having a little satsang. We were looking at Maharaj Ji, and she just said, "How can Màharaj Ji just keep getting more beautiful?" And then she said, "I guess he doesn't keep getting more beautiful; it's just that we're so blind to it." How blind we must be that even now, we look at Maharaj Ji and we think, "Oh, Maharaj Ji, you're so beautiful." But I think we're just beginning to see how beautiful Guru Maharaj Ji is.

I mean, I experience so much when I see premies come from all over the world who haven't seen Guru Maharaj Ji in a long time and wait for this moment. And I just fee1 like he's so beautiful to let us come before him and just experience that pure, sweet, infinite, overwhelming, most beautiful love. Because we're never going to find it anywhere else in this world. And that's what we want. We want to experience this Love, and he is our everything that we need today. And if we have already been through that darshan line and we experience Guru Maharaj ii as our everything, we need to just hold that. Keep it.

And if we haven't been through the darshan line, I really hope that when we see Guru Maharaj Ji we realise that he is our everything, that he is the most beautiful thing that these eyes could ever see in this world, that "Guru Maharaj Ji" is the most beautiful word that this mouth could ever say. And that Word that he gives us is the most beautiful Word that we can ever say within, because it is so perfect that we cannot say it. But at least he gave us the word "Guru Maharaj Ji" to say, because that really says it all, as far as our lips are concerned.

Maharaj Ji has gifted us so much. He gives us our third eye to see his form within. He gives us external eyes to see his form on this Earth. He gives us a tongue to talk about this Knowledge, this experience, to talk about Guru Maharaj Ji. He gives us a tongue to taste his nectar. He gives us this life to experience the most incredible and beautiful and perfect thing in this universe. I just feel like we really need to let go of all of our concepts, of all of how we think things are going or going to be, or how Guru Maharaj Ji is going to do it, and just let him do it. Watch what he's going to do. And sometimes I just experience this. It's too much. I can't even imagine what he's going to do. It's beyond our wildest dreams, so why even try to imagine it? Just be with Guru Maharaj Ji right now, always, and see what that now brings.

I feel like Guru Maharaj Ji is so powerful and so attractive to human beings in this world in this day, in this age — it will be impossible not to light this whole world. Because it's just impossible. When it's dark and that Sun comes up, it is impossible not to see the sun. You must see the sun, because it's so dark and when it comes that's all we're going to see. And this world is very, very, very, very dark.

Sometimes Ijust can't believe the things I see in the magazines and in the papers and the things that are going on in this world. We know whose fault it is. We know who is that monster that is doing these things in the world, more monstrous than we even want to think about. But maybe this world just has to get really dark before human beings can be shocked enough to even get out of the gutter and look up and see Guru Maharaj ii shining with Love, with pure Love. And what a beautiful day today is, and what a beautiful day every day is, when we are in Guru Maharaj Ji's world. And there's definitely a difference between a day in the life in the world without Guru Maharaj Ji, and a day in the life in the world of Guru Maharaj Ji: day and night, heaven and hell, completely completely opposite of each other.

And Guru Maharaj Ji is so kind to each one of us. I just feel like we can never know how kind Guru Maharaj Ji is to each one of us. As I went through the darshan line — and I was holding Premlata. As I walked through the long corridor I felt like, "Oh Maharaj Ji, you couldn't be any kinder to me." He couldn't be more beautiful than he's been to me.

I remember the first time I walked in a darshan line, and Ijust experienced in a few seconds the difference between when I first walked through that darshan line and this day when I was walking. This is too much, everything that Guru Maharaj Ji has just showered on me. And I know that he showers his Love on every one of us if we just trust him. That's all he wants. It's just like: "Please just trust me. I know what you need. I know what you want, and I will give it to you if you let me."

Guru Maharaj Ji cannot force his Love

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Marolyn Rawat nee Johnson then known as Durga Ji in Kansas City, January 1978

on us. We must let him. And I feel like Guru Maharaj Ji trusts us, because I know that Hansi is so precious to Guru Maharaj Ji, and Guru Maharaj Ji would not give you Hansi to take care of if he didn't trust that you would really watch him and make sure that he didn't hurt himself. Because Guru Maharaj Ji loves his baby boy very, very much. So he wouldn't just give him to you to watch for a little while if he didn't trust you completely to make sure that he didn't harm himself, or that you wouldn't just cast him aside, or that you wouldn't just leave him.

But then, Maharaj Ji is saying how precious is this Knowledge, is this seed that Guru Maharaj Ji gives to every one of us. And he trusts us to take it in our heart and tend it and let it grow, and he shows us exactly what to do to let it grow. He shows us exactly — by satsang, by service, by meditation, by darshan, by surrendering to Guru Maharaj Ji — how to let this seed grow. And if he ever thought that we would cast it away, he would never, never, never, give it to us. And yet he has complete trust in every one of us who he's given this Knowledge to, to see it as the most precious thing that we will ever, ever receive.

I just feel like we've all been kind of drowning in the water and we've just cried help for a long time and now Guru Maharaj Ji is there and he's saying, "Hop on; just come on. I've got everything." But it seems like before we got in the water we had a bag of gold with us, some gold coins, because we needed them on the land. But we don't need them in the water anymore, because they are weighing us down. And we'll never be able to use this gold, these gold coins again. Guru Maharaj Ji says, "Just drop " you know. "Drop it. Take my hand and come into the boat, but drop your little purse first."

And for some reason we just go, "Oh, no, I can't. I can't. I can't let go of this. It's my everything. I've worked so hard for it. I tried so hard to collect these gold coins all my life and now you're telling me to let go." But it's like if we don't, it's going to pull us all the way down to the bottom. And Guru Maharaj Ji's already let us come up to the surface to him, to pull us up on his boat.

So I think the wisest thing for us to do is just listen to what he says and just surrender that little purse. Because we don't need it. Just drop it, and let him take us on his boat where we want to be.

So I would just like to say that it's really wonderful to be able to share this with you, and that I just want you to somehow know that Guru Maharaj Ji loves every one of us so much. Thank you.

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